Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
