You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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