I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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