I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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