Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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