Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
