I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
