it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
