I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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