Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
