fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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