You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
