I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize