I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
