and next time when you feel me up, do it right
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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