would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
