I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
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