Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize