Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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