Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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