I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
