She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
