..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
