Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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