He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
