Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
