I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
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He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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