I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
