her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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