i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
