My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
