We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
