Dude my mom stole all your condoms
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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