I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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