I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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