May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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