Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
