Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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