I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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