FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
