if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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