Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
