ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
