the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Randomize