is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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