xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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