Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
