Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
