what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
