p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
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We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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