its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
