You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
