Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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