he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize