I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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