I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
