HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
