Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Randomize
