i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
