you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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