Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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