I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
