i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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