i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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