I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.