He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
